Saying goodbye to bad food

Well today I did it. I signed up at slim 4 life which is a weight loss clinic in Colorado that specializes in fast safe weight loss.

I had to do it. Right now, I weigh more than I ever have in my life and I'm just tired of it. I haven't decided if I'm going to include my weight here or not. For the moment we will say I have a lot to lose. It was 30 more pounds than when I stopped dieting last year. How does it come back so easily?

For weeks/months, I've been trying to diet on my own. I created meal plans only to to get tired of them by Saturday. I counted calories for Mon, Tue, Wed,Thur and then Friday forgot to do it because I went out to lunch. If I fell off hard I wouldn't start the diet again for a couple of weeks, eating way more than I should in the meantime. I just was getting no where. So this is my drastic approach at the weight loss.

Tonight was my last "eat like there is no tomorrow" night. I went to the store and got some of my favorite foods:
Stouffer's mac and cheese
Doritos
Spagettios
A cupcake
I was so excited about eating these. I was going to enjoy them and then say my goodbyes. I was going to say this isn't really a forever goodbye but just a "so long" until I have more control over my handle on junk food. Yes, I was feeling very dramatic in the grocery store.

However, things did not go as planned. First off the mac and cheese wasn't as good as I thought it would be. Then as I ate more I began to feel sick and lethargic. I had a bite of the cupcake. The frosting was too rich and there was too much of it. The spagettios didn't even taste good. After eating some of my "last supper" I felt sick and worse than I did this afternoon.
I'm ready to go to sleep at 9pm at night.

So what I found out tonight was the following. 1. Comfort food really isn't that comforting. In fact it makes me feel worse than before I started eating it. 2. I'm not going to miss this icky tired feeling after gorging on not so good food. Now I just need to remember this lesson for when I crave being bad.